Rising Beyond Adversity: Purpose, Resilience, and the CIA Framework

Special Guest: 

Brian P. Swift, J.D. — known as 'The Quad Father' — is a motivational speaker, bestselling author of 10 books, nonprofit founder, and certified John Maxwell Coach dedicated to helping people rise beyond adversity and live with purpose. At the age of 17, a tragic accident left Brian a quadriplegic. Rather than allowing his circumstances to define him, he chose to redefine what was possible.

Brian graduated from Saint Xavier University and earned his Juris Doctor from DePaul University College of Law. He spent over twenty years in corporate leadership before dedicating his life fully to speaking, writing, and nonprofit work. In 2015, Brian co-founded Swift Outdoor Accessible Recreation (SOAR), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit empowering people with disabilities to reconnect with the outdoors. He is also the host of the SOAR Breaking Barriers Podcast. Brian lives by the principles he calls CIA: Commitment, Integrity, and Attitude.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Live Your Legacy. Where every story holds a turning point. And every turning point holds the power of legacy.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome to Live Your Legacy, the conversational podcast where we explore how life's defining moments shape the legacy we leave behind. I'm your host, Patricia D. Fordenberg, also known as Patty from New York. This show is rooted in the simple truth. Grief is not always about death. It's about when when sometimes life changes due to losses, detours, new beginnings. And here we speak with entrepreneurs, authors, leaders, and creators who have turned their life-defined momentful work contributions. Because legacy is not only what we leave behind, it's what we are shaping right now through vision, impact, and purpose. And today I'm honored to welcome Brian P. Swift. Come on, known as the Quad Father, is a motivational speaker, best-selling author, 10 books, nonprofit founder, certified John Maxwell coach, dedicated to helping people rise beyond adversity and live with purpose. Thank you so much for being here. And for those who may be meeting you for the first time, would you take a moment to tell us a little bit more about the work you do and what brought you here today? Brian, over to you, and thank you for joining us today on Live Your Legacy.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

Patty, I'm honored to be here. Thank you for having me on. Just at a park with my friends and became a quadriplegic. So you talk about you know adversity and life possibly ending. And I was blessed where I had great family support, um, strong faith, and that really helped me turn it into a new beginning. Now that doesn't happen overnight, but what does happen is the journey. Because when something happens, when you're stuck, when you hit adversity, there's kind of one question I ask, now what? Because now what brings you to two to a fork in the road, and anything that happens to you. My dad died, now what? You know, I broke my neck, now what? You know, you couldn't get pre your wife couldn't get pregnant. Now what? You know, you you came down with you know an illness, now what? You know, and that really brings you to a fork in the road, and I just chose the path that moves you forward. Um I I I've been very blessed to have the strength, the fortitude, the support to always move forward. It takes as much energy to move forward as it does to be stuck, and there's two types of pain in the world. You know, there's the pain of being stuck, or there's the pain of moving forward. They both bring pain. Choose your pain. Someone's gonna there is there's a pain with not doing anything, right? And and so one path's gonna feed you, and one fat path is gonna bleed you. Which one do you want to take? It's like friends and and the people you surround yourself. People either feed you or bleed you, and at some point you've got to make a decision. Do you want the people that feed you? Do you want the people that bleed you? It is that simple. The decision might be hard, but the choice is that simple. So I just chose to move forward.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

And I I um go and I love that you so let's go back a little bit. Now we could all agree that hindsight is 2020, right? I I believe. Do you do you agree? Do you agree with that? Absolutely. So, with that being said, can you take us back uh and and I love that you say out loud what now? I I love that that what now, right? You say it out loud, so it's like a you know, a recognition of the moment, right? Of the of the what now, and it puts you into that, and I love that you said like pick your pick your hard, pick your um, but let's take let's go back a little bit. With that all being said, can you take us back to the moment uh where you know you can share a pivotal moment that changed the direction of your life? So we know about the accident, but but then you know, you were still young then. So what was that pivotal moment that changed your life or your work or both?

SPEAKER_04 4:54

So I come from a very strong family, Irish Catholic, very devout devote. My mom is the very faith-driven, my dad. You know, you were brought up with tough love. Um, so I broke my neck the day after Christmas in in 1979. So in December, uh, you know, rolls around. I've only been hurt about a month, roll into January, and I've only been hurt for about six weeks. I'm up at the rehab facility, and I'm turning 18 at the end of the month. You know, 18 is was like that pivotal birthday, right? You kind of became the adult. You you got to yes, you know, you got you got to go into some bars legally, um, possibly, you know, it just was a pivotal age. I'm sitting here in the hospital, I can't even feed myself. You know, I've got this big brace screwed into my head, into you know, around my neck, and I'm probably not in the best spirits, probably a little salty thinking this was not how I envisioned turning 18. And my dad came up to visit, and he walks in, he hangs his overcoat up, comes over to the table. I'm sitting by, and we start talking. I don't remember, just small chat. And after about 10 minutes, he stood up and he walked over and he got his overcoat, walked over to the table and put it back on. And he looked down at me and said, and and this is like this changed everything. He said, You know, if I come up here again and you're not smiling and you're not in good spirits, I won't come up again. I will turn around and leave. Because I'm not coming up here to listen to you wow uh whine, and I'm not coming up here to listen to be with you in a bad mood. He said, It is your responsibility to keep this family up, it's your responsibility to keep this family going and to keep this family together. That is your responsibility. He said, as you go, the family put that on you.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

He just put that on, he just handed you like a big job, a big job. Uh, but that's look how many years later, and you're you could still reckon like it was yesterday. Wow, Brian. Wow, I'm sorry. I interrupted it.

SPEAKER_04 7:40

He said, as you go, this family will go. Took off his coat, sat down, not another word was said. That moment, as it resonated through the night, really changed how I thought about things, and I was not gonna be the reason my family was unhappy. I was not gonna be the breakup because it traumatic injuries like that break a lot of families. We were told that by the uh by the rehab facility, these things devastate families.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

I've seen it my myself. I I've seen it myself.

SPEAKER_04 8:25

These things either bring you together or they break you up.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Yeah, but it's a choice, right? Um, it becomes a choice, like your father, your father you know, gave you that choice, and gosh, uh gosh. Okay, I want to ask more about that visitation, but I want to get on to the next question because it might lead to the to that. Um, what what challenge would you say was a blessing in disguise? What challenge was a blessing in disguise? I know there might be a lot, but what you know comes to mind.

SPEAKER_04 9:04

It's an easy one. I probably wasn't the best student, I didn't work hard in school. Went to a great Catholic high school, St. Lawrence, and got a great education. And my parents, you know, were that typical generation, they were blue-collar. They, you know, they worked, or my my dad worked, my mom was a homemaker, raised three kids, and then worked part-time once we were all in school. I was probably gonna go into the trades, honorable profession. Something people are missing today is the fact that you know, not everybody has to be a college graduate to be successful, not even close. So all of a sudden, I'm not gonna go into the trades. I'm a cobriga confined to a wheelchair. My only way out is through education. That changed my world. Now I had to go be a student, I had to use my mind in a way different way than I was kind of gearing to. I wasn't planning on going to college. I I figured I'd go into the trades, make big money working hard, which I was used to, and be successful. I was gonna be successful no matter what. Doesn't matter how, if you're gonna be successful, you're gonna find a way or make a way, and so all of a sudden, I had to learn to be a student, and I took that path on. I just chose you figure it out because I was a competitor before I got hurt. When you're a competitor, and you are, you may not think you are, you you you want to win it everything. I wanted to win it everything, even if I was doing something with able body, like I I just don't like not being one of the better people out there at what I do. I just took that and ran with it in a different direction than my whole life had probably geared me for.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

You took it and you took it to the next level. Sorry, I'm my internet's getting cut off, and I thought you were complete, and you know I'm an eager person if you know me by now. You came uh a JD. Now, for those who may not know what that means, because I actually looked it up and I had an idea, but I'm like, wow, you took education to the next level. I don't want to, I don't want to just graze over that. Um, you you really mean what you say. Could you tell us a little bit more about that?

SPEAKER_04 11:42

So I went to junior college. I recommend for parents out there who have kids that you know they feel need to go away to college, should go away to college. I'm calling bullshit. Send your kids to a junior college. Education is so expensive. I went to a junior college after that. I graduated in two years with no debt, and then I went on to a four-year university. That's what I do with my three kids. They were not happy with dad because I'm like, you don't have a choice, you're going to a junior college because you're not coming out with mega debt. I is my I am your father, I'm responsible for your future. You can dislike me all you want, I don't give a shit. You will understand in four years when you get out of school and don't have debt how smart dad was. So started a junior college, I finished you'll be thanking dad, and you'll be thanking dad. And they did. And uh two years later, I graduated. So you went there and then two years later, I graduated from St. Xavier University. Now, my senior year of college, St. Xavier was a small Christian college that had a lot of nuns in it, and I had a criminal justice class with this little nun, and she got me in the hall one day and said, Brian, what are you doing after your senior year? Where do you want to work? What do you want to do? And I said, Well, you know, I was thinking of an internship here or doing this or that. She goes, No, you're good, you you you need to go to law school. And I looked at her, you know, and she was all of you know five foot, 60 pounds, and she wore that wore the nun habit. And I go, Sister Dennis, I'm not that smart. Like, I'm first generation college. I law schools, like me going to the moon. She goes, After school, come to my office. Well, you didn't say no to a nun. I mean, I'm sorry, you just you didn't do that. So after class, I went up and saw Sister Dennis, and I went in a room and uh her office, and she's like, Yeah, you know what? Uh, you're gonna go to law school. The LSAT, which is the entrance exam, is in you know, July, and I'll get you set up to study, and uh, that's what you need to do. And I'm like, Sister, I'm I'm just not like that's not me. I'm not smart enough. I don't have my parents, I don't have the money. And she was like, No, it'll all be fine. You know, this is what you need to do. Well, I'm like, like, I'm okay, I'm not gonna argue with her. You don't do that, but right? I mean, Ed saw I was like, uh, okay, and I went home and I told my parents. My parents are like, Yeah, I'm uh I don't know. She, you know, I they were like kind of the same thing, like they didn't see me in that road. Well, you know, and about a week later, she calls me back up to her office. She has the study guide, she has the schedule. Here, you know, you got to sign up for the LSAT. Here's your study schedule, you know, here's the books, the prep books. Uh you know, I'm like, little did you know. So I studied. I I and we just figured, well, well, what is it gonna hurt? Right? I don't know. I did good in college, yeah. Yeah, well, you know, whatever. So I took the prep test, and yes, I got in two different law schools, and I ended up going to law school, and three and a half years later, I graduated from law school with my JD.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

That's great. Well, congratulations, because that's really, really awesome. And very inspiring how like one little decision, like you say, one decision away from changing your life, one decision away from changing your life. Now, with that being also said, uh, who has been the most memorable mentor in your life and why? And I I I I I imagine there's a lot, and if you want to talk about all of them, go for it. Um, but who comes to mind? And obviously, you just shared one, uh, but but who else comes to mind when we talk about mentors?

SPEAKER_04 16:05

My mom. Barnon, uh, my mom and my dad. Um they were the best examples of parents. Of even if they weren't parents, they're amazing examples of what people should be today. My my mom is like perfect. My dad, not perfect, but loved me, loved our family, and worked as hard as he could to be a good man, and was an example of a real man. And my mom, she's there's nobody today that could keep up with my mom. She knew how to do everything. She could cut hair, she could bake, she could open a bakery, she could open a restaurant, she could cook, she could bake. The house was immaculate, you could eat off our floors. I never just I I I just don't know anybody that has the talents and and just uh, you know, she was the first one up, she was the last one to bed. She woke up with a smile, she went to bed with a smile. I I don't know how she did it. I do know how. She had amazing faith.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

We need to hear that. Can you say it again? She had one more time.

SPEAKER_04 17:48

Yeah, she had amazing faith. So did my dad, but my mom, like, there's there's a glow of wings around my mom. She's 88 today. Um I she she has she's had dementia for about five years, and we me and my sister take turns watching her because uh we will not put her in a home. That is our responsibility, no matter how tough. To to send we did the same with my dad. My dad passed in the house. Um, he didn't want to be in a home.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Okay, a choice that feels right to you, right? A choice that works for your families. It's beautiful. Well, God bless God bless her. Thank you for sharing her and him with us. Um, but go ahead, yeah. And we just want to, I just want to give a little love here. We got JC Dor Dornick, who we know very well as Master Dragon or Dragonflies uh teacher. And what are we talking about? Uh we're talking about a podcast in school called the Dragonfly uh Podcast Academy. If you want to know about it, well, check out my website, livelegacy.vip, or follow Brian and he'll share you um the you know invite to come and learn how to be a podcaster and have shows like this because everybody has something to teach or you know, a gift, and uh we want to share that with the world. So I just wanted to give a shout out to JC who's watching. Thank you for your support. Um, but I don't know if you were finished talking about um your beautiful mother. And um, while you were sharing, I was wondering, does she have like a slogan that she said a lot to you? Um, even if it was like as you're walking out the door, um, you know, I'm sure there's many.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

Well, as you could imagine, there are many, but something that sticks with me, something that I say to myself and have said it myself um through the years. If if you know about Irish Catholic people, especially moms, they are awesome at that guilt. They don't so you know they they are awesome.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

I didn't know you were going there, but bring it.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

They're awesome at driving that Irish Catholic guilt. So they don't they, you know, my parents never swinded. They don't my they I didn't grow up with parents that swore or anything. They my dad could paralyze you with a look, that generation, you know. Like if dad just looked over the seat, he didn't reach back, he he could do it with his eyes. My mom could do with four words, four words, sometimes five.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Lean in everybody. Let's hear, let's hear it.

SPEAKER_04 20:40

And this one I say to myself when I get down on myself, or when I don't do certain things, you're better than that. It's all she had to say. That hurts. I use it on my kids. I've used it when I coached athletes. It doesn't have to be a nasty comment, it was either Brian, you're better than that, or just simple, you're better than that. That cuts me. Um that I would rather get punched in the face I'm adopting that.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

I honestly I'm adopting that.

SPEAKER_04 21:21

I would rather get punched in the face by my dad than hear that.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Wow. Yeah, wow, that's a big deal. We got some more love here. Uh, I know this lady, Nancy Shafarrell. Hey Nancy, how are you? Thank you for being such a big, big, big supporter. We're here with Brian Swift, JD, that's a judicial doctorate, uh, which I love. Uh, but we're gonna get to some more questions here, and thank you for sharing that. And that I am adopting that. So thank you for that gift. Uh with with with the next question up was there a revelation, uh, a lesson or a personal model that mo model that helped guide your journey. Like what model did you go by? Was there a quote? Was there a book? You know, what what what lessons were were in in those models and revelations? Big question. You gather your thoughts.

SPEAKER_04 22:17

You know, I watched I what I watched my parents and I saw what they did. And I I was hoping to be as good as they were at what they did. And I look at my dad who worked for the Chicago Park District and I watched a lot of men he worked with and there you know again I watched some of them stray as being good husbands watched them stray from doing their job the right way and making tough decisions. My dad never strayed my man my dad was a man of conviction based on what God wanted from all of us. So I started with my parents now not everybody is blessed to have parents that lead by example and I was blessed to so I had a high bar to follow as I became a father a husband um and went into business and I adopted a few simple rules um this might be one it's it's CIA it's real simple CIA stands for commitment my parents were committed to their family they were committed to their friends they were committed to their faith they were committed to whatever they did hard to do for people today second one's even tougher C for commitment I is for integrity you can be committed to something but integrity is doing it the right way when nobody's looking doing it despite it causing you pain doing it despite it causing you disfavor with some people but knowing it was the right thing to do and you could you could be committed and have integrity and still be a miserable person. But the last one is attitude you do it with a good attitude just like my dad told me when I was 17 I'm writing these down by the way commitment integrity and attitude and you do it with the right attitude despite again it being hard difficult um maybe you didn't agree with it that doesn't mean it's wrong but you do it with the right attitude and I've approached when I was younger coaching athletes with that CIA mentality I try to live my life by CIA it's simple rules it's not simple to execute them life is simple.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

Life is simple rules things are either right or wrong there's not I didn't grow up in a gray world and we've turned the world gray to make it easy for people not to have to obey the rules this world is black and white we just got too many gray people out there they need to be put in their place it's my opinion so CIA commitment integrity attitude yeah that's one of the philosophies I I like that you I like that you brought a little light to that though about the gray you know um you you don't get away with it you know don't get away with it pick one you know if you're gonna be bad own it like if you you know own it you know don't like gray yeah I I really like that CI I wrote it down uh I I wrote I wrote it down I'm not even kidding I really really love it um thank you I shouldn't be taking notes while I'm doing an interview but nonetheless um I really really love that and uh thank you for that so Brian as we move on here what would you say to your younger self what advice would you give younger self Brian Wow um good question um if I look back uh despite what I might have done I'm gonna have to go back to I would tell myself you're better than that you are really putting your money where your mouth is I must say that's really awesome that's really really awesome love love it and uh I'm gonna follow up by this one what wisdom would you want your future self to hold on to continue to live your life not just by CIA but also by my my four F's you know which makes making decisions easier which is you know I live by faith my next one is my importance of family friends and the fourth one is fortitude and try to be a better example of all of those to the people around you fortitude I don't hear that word very much can you tell me a little bit more about what fortitude is to you I I really like that that's beautiful I didn't see that one coming either a lot of surprises today Brian come on there's a lot of F's share share it's only fair the last a lot of people want to add a fifth F to that and I won't say it but you can imagine um fortitude is a higher level an internal level of that commitment integrity and attitude when things get tough fortitude is grinding through fortitude is what I imagined the good lord had to go through when they were persecuting them he rested on the belief in his father that there was a reason for it even though he might not have been sure of it but there's a reason for it and there's a reason that things happen that we don't always know and that's when your faith and fortitude come in to get through it while still being true to the how you live with commitment integrity and attitude it's it's having a gritty mindset it's having a gritty heart set it's leading by example so fortitude is that that um that gritty desire to move forward despite whatever that is um you know it's a tenacity a form of tenacity and uh it's what I've had to use being a quadriplegic to get through many days and not just get through them but get through them smiling because I can't let my family I'm not gonna be a negative person around my family and friends I owe it to the disabled community and and I get a lot of negative pushback because I don't whine and bitch about the disabled world I live in I could talk about the inaccessibility the unfairness out there I don't why because nobody said life was fair nobody said life was easy did anybody tell you life was going to be fair and easy no suck it up buttercup no sir don't know what to tell you and you could say with a smile I like that like like your father taught you well uh you know when you're explaining fortitude what comes to mind is like a strong foundation strong foundation you know another F-word uh but you know when you were summarizing I'm like that's a strong foundation um and I really like that happens to be another F word um so Brian you know uh we're we're coming closer to the end here um but we have a couple more questions so stay with us stay with me um if you could do it all again would you change anything or did every part in your journey have a purpose every part had a purpose um I've been asked you know if you could go back and wipe out 45 years of being in a wheelchair to walk again would you no way I've been so blessed in so many ways I've got three amazing kids I've got amazing parents I've got amazing friends I've had an amazing journey I've got an amazing wife that I've been married to for 36 years um no no god bless god bless love that love that divinely made i i absolutely love that so we got we got a couple more what what is something about your journey that most people would be surprised to learn oh wow surprised or are you working on something that nobody yes or are you working on something that you know you might want to share now well i i think people were surprised let's guy go a little deeper with brian here i think people were surprised that i wrote books and as time's gone on uh people are surprised of how much i talk about faith and how faith driven i am um because it wasn't something you know i i think people's faith got um put in the closet you were afraid to talk about faith in god and i think people are surprised how faith driven i am and how much i believe in this divine direction that we've all been sent on so that would I think that surprised people my uh faith how how faithful and divine driven I am wow I was a little surprised too I didn't I wasn't I don't know what I was expecting but it was a surprise and it was a really pleasant surprise uh Brian you know the you know what what do you call it the the the the money bag uh the money bag question what does legacy mean to you well you know the interesting thing is I think when people think about legacy they think about what have I left right what am I leaving behind yeah I'm with you I'm with you legacy is is not to me what you leave behind legacy if you ever heard people talk about the dash do you know what the dash is I want you to talk about it though okay so the dash is yes the dash is that little line between the day you were born 19 whatever it is 2000 whatever's and the day you die to me legacy is born in that dash ooh I never heard it said that way think about this I could have grown up being an S an SOB for some of you that don't know what that means it's son of a bitch I could have grown up being a son of a bitch to almost everybody and left millions of dollars as my legacy to my family do you think they would have rather had a nicer friendlier great relationship person for 50 60 years or that money at the end so I don't view legacy as what you left behind to me legacy it's part of it but legacy is what you did during that dash I love that I love what you said I can't I I mean it was so beautiful uh I don't even want to mess it up that that's that's where legacy is born um that dash is just absolutely beautiful I never heard it put that way before and uh and I've heard a lot of ways it put but not that way um so you're full of surprises today and I really thank you uh I want to share with the viewers where we could find you um where here you are on on Instagram uh the Quad Father I I love that the Quad Father I mean it's so um great it's so so great I also want to share with the viewers um your your website um your website's pretty awesome and you're doing a little bit of this a little bit of that where would you uh say the viewers will get their most bang for their time and money you know uh what books are you recommending what podcasts are you doing tell us a little bit more uh for people who are really liking this interview thank you so I I I I I do have a podcast called Breaking Barriers driven by source so breaking barriers it's new I'm gonna have a lot of different guests on there from people like David Meltzer to to to James Orsini and then you know caretakers caregivers I should say caregivers and um everyday people that just have struggles but have found a way to live a happy life a thriving life um so go go there and that's and that's where you'll get to hear me talk to others and and then you know most of what I post on Facebook or on my Instagram they're they're it's it's motivational it's it's inspirational it's positive um and then my coaching kind of centers around john maxwell uh you know so we want to read a book my first book is up getting up is the key to life um I did write a book called the Quadfather right there uh and that's developing true grit that one is uh gonna be re that one I'm working on and that's gonna be re-released um way better way better version of it but uh I I'm I'm an avid reader you can see behind me some of my books I think that are up here um and I'm I didn't know I'd be writing books I wanted to write one 13 years ago and I did that but it 10 books later it's released something in me wow wow wow and that also is a legacy you know um because it will keep on teaching it will keep on teaching um that's absolutely beautiful uh thank you for that thank you for being here today really appreciate your time your talent and your treasure uh brian would you like to give us some closing remarks before we get on out of here so the first thing I would say for a lot of us out there um is to you're either humble or you're about to be humbled in life the minute you think that you have it figured out and you're gonna kind of tell God your your direction you kind of get humbled and then I would just tell you be kind to your future self that's beautiful thank you I'm gonna remember that um hopefully you'll come back to visit and uh nonetheless we share a lot of similar communities and it's been great meeting you in person at the CreativeCon in Chicago and hopefully we'll see each other again next year. Thank you so much for everybody joining us and supporting the show. This is Brian Swift check him out he's also on our website livelegacy.vip for vision impact and purpose all his social media platforms are on there if you want to go check it out I encourage you to go there. Again my name is Patty Fodenberg um and I am your host today and with that being said I am ending the show thank you so much again if you see anybody