Relationships 2.0: Thriving Relationships After Abuse

Dawn Lucht is a Transformation Guide and Human Design Projector 5/1 who works with people ready to decondition from societal norms, trauma, and the armour they’ve built around themselves — so they can live a life by design and intention. She is passionate about relationships, emotional resilience, and coherence.

Her personal journey includes surviving domestic violence, abuse, and trauma, as well as the neonatal death of her daughter. She raised her son alongside his narcissistic father while simultaneously building her own coaching business. Over the past 13 years, Dawn has done the deep inner work to understand why she was drawn to those experiences and has emerged from the other side with thriving relationships — most importantly, a profound relationship with herself.

Dawn’s approach is spiritual in a very practical way. She helps clients move beyond survival mode into lives of emotional freedom, authentic connection, and intentional living.

"The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself."

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to Live Your Legacy. Where every story holds a turning point. And every turning point holds the power of legacy.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Welcome to Live Your Legacy, the conversational podcast where we explore how life's defining moments shape the legacy we leave behind. I'm your host, Patricia D. Fordenberg, also known as Patty from New York, and this show is rooted in one simple truth. Grief isn't always about death. Sometimes it comes through life's changes, losses, detours, and new beginnings. And here we speak with entrepreneurs, authors, leaders, and creators who have turned their life's defining moments into meaningful work and lasting contributions. Because legacy is not only what we leave behind, it's what we are shaping right now through vision, impact, and purpose. And today I am honored to welcome our special guest, Dawn Luck, who is a transformational guide and human design projector who works with people ready to decondition from societal norms, trauma, and the armor they've built around themselves so they can live a life by design and intention. She is passionate about relationships, emotional resilience, and coherence. Welcome, Dawn, and thank you for being here today. How are you? And let's hear a little bit more about what brought you here today.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Do you know what, Patty? Listening to your introduction actually was really moving. And it's so moving because every single thing about what I've created in my life since 2010 is exactly that is a basis of having lived through some really intense experiences and then making meaning from them, making them turn them into something positive rather than what could have been dragging me down into the depths of grief and staying there indefinitely. And so I'm very committed to creating and turning some very intense life experiences into gold. And I don't say that lightly, I understand fully what that means. So when somebody sees the importance of this reframe and this kind of conversation, you I'm in, I'm already here. I'm excited. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Thank you. Thank you for that. And what a great intro as well. So we're gonna get right into it. My first question is this, okay? Would you agree or disagree that hindsight is 2020?

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Hindsight is full of red flags that I never saw and only saw later. That's what I think about that. It there's a lot of clues as to how we're put together in the past. And with a bucket load of self-reflection and curiosity, and just timeline, have a looking at your own timeline. You can go, oh my god, it was already there. I can see how it probably was gonna turn out from probably day one. And so, yeah, 2020. And I don't know, sometimes also it doesn't matter, even in the moment, if you know something significant, you might not fully understand the purpose of it until one, two, five, ten years later. Things are still unfolding for me now, and I'm like, oh my god, all of that, it just feels very serendipitous and orchestrated, even though it was hardcore.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Wow, I like the way you put it. I like the way you put that. That that was great. That was great. And real time, right? Real time, like hindsight, but real time. You're like, like you said, you're still learning things. Wow, that was great. So, can you take us back since we're talking about take us back for a moment and share with us a pivotal moment that was a moment that changed the direction of your life or work or both?

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Yeah, can I have there might be a lot that we're coming? I'm gonna share three main ones briefly because they all compounded each other into something that speaks to now. And the first one was back in 2020, I had a daughter who died. She was had a neonatal death, she was one day old, and I remember thinking I can this experience is either gonna swallow me whole or I need to do something with it. And I don't even know where that thought came from or why, but I'm grateful because that's the kind of experience that for some never recover from. So I was very aware, even in the midst of my grief, that this was significant and how I was gonna handle it was also significant. And I don't even know why I thought that. It just happened. And then two years later, I was pregnant and I had my son, who is now 13 and very tall, which is weird. And he is has been one of my greatest teachers, and the light that he has inside of him, his sensitivity, curiosity, and his desire to be himself has really made me feel like I had to become his caretaker, the caretaker of his light, not just his mum, but also I felt such an immense responsibility for his mental and emotional well-being, and I knew that my impact on him was going to be significant. So him being born was not a walk in the park. I took that very seriously, and and then two years after that, after his birth, I found out that the marriage I thought I was in was not, and there was an incredible amount of betrayal and mistrust, and and that broke me apart more than if you just compound all of the bits together. I see how they they all tie again, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

I do see what you're saying. Yeah, and so uh that leads me to ten must be I I think I less it's here. Could you say that? I interrupted you and I thought you were complete, but I go ahead and continue. You were sharing about that point when you realized the marriage was not working.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

The marriage exploded, and in that explosion, I realized a lot of thoughts about myself, which catalyzed to now, which was I cannot let myself have another experience like this, and so I needed to unpick and understand what made me a match to that in the first place, and then do the work on myself and for my son to make sure that the impact of that wasn't as significant as it could have been, and so fast forward to now, that's the what I've learned and experienced is what I do, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Wow, wow. But thank you for your vulnerability, by the way. And again, it might have been a while ago, but it the the love never dies. So, deepest condolences for your daughter, I believe you said. And yeah, so I felt that, and we got some love on social here. We got Bella Linda Rigby. I know her well, she's well, she's awesome, she's an event planner and then some giving some love, and she also is saying, Welcome, Dawn, welcome, Dawn. So, the next question, thank you, Bella, for chiming in and supporting the show and Dawn. Dawn, my question is what challenge would you say was a blessing in disguise? And I know you tapped a little bit on it with your share, but you know, expand a little bit more. What blessings in disguise?

SPEAKER_00 8:12

All of those, uh every single one of them, and what I've learned about myself through that time is that I wasn't as weak as I thought I was, and I wasn't as helpless as I thought I was, and because I had an adversary as it felt at the time, and I was fighting for my own reclamation of health, mental health, emotional health, and for my son, it pushed me into a really challenging place where I had to question everything, and out of that, it's massive amounts of alchemy. I really have transformed every single part of my relationship to myself, and I wouldn't have done it. I just wouldn't have done it. I'm a stubborn woman, I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been pushed. I wouldn't. I do believe that was the word alchemy.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Did you I love that you use the word alchemy? Have you read The Alchemist by any chance?

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

I think it should be everyone. Good word. Yeah, I'm with you. I read it too. So going back to to the question, who has and this is gonna be a tough one too, because there might be a lot, and it's okay, but it doesn't have to be just one. But who has the most memorable mentor in your life?

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Uh most memorable mentor. There was there is this woman called Judy Pyatt Srimati, who I don't know if you've heard of the ultra athlete rich role, and he has his own podcast, and he wrote a book on finding ultra and how his whole journey. And at the end of that book, he writes had the importance and significance of his wife in that in his own journey. And right at the beginning, when I read that book, he'd literally just started his own podcast, and his very first few episodes, he invited his wife, Julie Pyatt, onto it. And immediately I knew that I'd found somebody who I needed to hear more from, and so he would keep inviting her onto the podcast, and I would just listen, and then she became one of the most influential people. She's signposted meter without even knowing. Like, I know her now because I fangirled her, and but I like that. Fangirls, I like that. Yeah, but she's recommended books to me that have changed my life, and people and experiences, and all sorts of things, and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for her, for sure. So, yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Wow, beautiful shout out, beautiful mention. Thank you for bringing us on the journey with you. Was there a revelation, a personal model or lesson that helped guide your journey? Sometimes we we find tell us, inquiring minds want to know. Tell us.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Yeah, so for years and years I'd written on this whiteboard that I had in my kitchen be a safe person and follow your truth. And I would go through phases of going, oh my god, I understand that at a greater level, and that matters so much. And then I'd miss it and not think about it for months, and then one day my life would bring me back to those two phases over and over again, and becoming a safe person, meaning all of the things about trusting myself, honouring myself, not blaming, judging, all of those kind of things, really was the guiding light for coming out of domestic violence and abuse and trauma and things like that. Because I wasn't a safe person for myself, I wasn't a safe person for my son, and learning those skills, even down to boundaries and listening to yourself and finding out what your needs are, they're all part of becoming a safe person. So, yeah, that was definitely my guiding light.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

That I am so happy that you said that. I've never heard that, I never heard it spoken in that way. I I'm kind to yourself, but same personal that I love that, that's beautiful, thank you. I'm gonna put that in my pocket. Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

So and you never sorry, it forms relationships. Um when you can hold a safe space for yourself and also a safe space for your partner, it transforms it from being very armored up, everybody coming in feeling protective and reactive, to a place where you can exhale and be heard and hear and heal. So I would say that not only was it important, but it also makes such a massive difference to relationships as well.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Yeah, it's it's it's a nice feeling, safety. It's a nice feeling, it's a nice feeling. So, Dawn, what would you say to your younger self?

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Brace yourself. I've been asked this question before, and lots of people say it's gonna be okay, you're gonna be alright, and it's all gonna work out, okay. But I don't think I would have wanted to know that because it would have changed my thoughts. I would have taken my foot off the gas a little bit, I wouldn't have done the things in the way I would have done. I just would I yeah, so I I don't think I sometimes I even wonder if I would have said anything to my younger self, to be honest. I think if I was to say something to my son, I'd say, trust yourself, listen, do not ignore those little inner messages that you get, they matter, and stand up tall, do not shrink yourself in front of somebody. Stand up, take up space, be strong, be kind, but be strong.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

So give me the goosebumps. Great advice, great advice to your younger self and to your son. What wisdom would you want your future self to keep holding on to?

SPEAKER_00 14:51

That's a really excellent question. My future self needs to stay in her own lane. You're making me laugh. Great, yeah. She just needs to not be so concerned about anybody else. Listen to yourself, be self-expressed, explore, have fun. Yeah, and don't worry about what your neighbor's doing.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

That's great. That's so great. Oh, wait, my cheeks hurt.

unknown 15:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

What does legacy mean to you personally? Sorry, you're just you're like, okay, no, my cheeks really hurt. Love it. What does legacy mean to you, Dawn? Again, big question, but I'd love to hear your answer.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Legacy for me is about ancestral clearing. So when I what I leave is an emotionally healthy, an ability to have emotionally healthy relationships. So when I think about legacy, I think what does that mean? It means I have been successful in some area. What area do I want to be successful in? Relationships. I want to, I have now the the relationships that fill me up so much that when we're sat together playing games or listening to each other or talking, I am fully present, fully in. I have curated something that I am proud of and delighted by. And it's also very simple. And I'm really proud that I've done that and I've committed to myself to do that. And the legacy is that hopefully for my son, this is just normal for him now. I'm not saying it's perfect, everyone's human. I haven't been perfect myself, but the legacy is that love and kindness and connection is normal for him to be with in his life.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Nice, really nice, strong message. What do you hope people remember most about the way you lived, worked, or served?

SPEAKER_00 17:01

I'm not that worried about being remembered. I'm not worried about having an impact. I just want to make sure that in every moment I've shown up and been present with the people that I'm with, that I serve, that I'm offering guidance to. So there really isn't that much else. I'm not worried about how I'm remembered or what I leave behind. If I do, then great, it matters. I want to, but it's not. It's not the do all and end all.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

I ask that question a lot, and it's fascinating to hear everybody's answers. And I might say that you're one of very few, but that's very humbling, I must say, that you're okay with doing your work and then going on. And that's really humbling. I gotta be honest, that's beautiful. Our tagline for I'm a founder of Miss You Gram, and the tagline is everybody wants to be remembered, but I do disclose that may not apply to everyone, but it's interesting to me. So thank you. Thank you for your answer. It really opens up because sometimes we assume, like the tagline says, everybody wants to be remembered, and that's generalization. But these conversations that we're having here, and your answer is so important because it opens up the mind. There's so much more to be known than will ever be known, right? So thank you for that. Now over again.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

No, bring it back, bring it back. The only thing I'd say, and this feels really significant for me, is that I just there's an element and a feeling of togetherness for me, and the individuation is what I bring to the togetherness to what we're all doing together. I really feel like we're all walking each other home, and I might have a role to play in your walking yourself home, but ultimately it's a community, we're together. So I want to be remembered that we did it rather than I did something.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

That's really that's just absolutely beautiful. I can't even I don't want to mess it up and add anything to that. It's absolutely beautiful. If you could do it, if you could do it all over again, would you change anything, or did every part of the journey have a purpose?

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Great question. My partner and I were talking about this the other day, and I have the best cheesy answer to that, right? And the cheesy answer is I would not change anything because it has brought me to him and to my son, and that's it. Nice, everything else is just as it is, and like I said earlier, an exclamation mark? Is that 100%?

SPEAKER_01 19:57

100%. Yes. Love it. You say it with an exclamation mark and a smile like that. So, you know, this is our signature question here. What is something about your journey that most people would be surprised to learn? There's no right or wrong answer here. We do want to know what's Dawn up to that really nobody knows about.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

I am trying to try my best to move from being a consumer of content to a creator of content. And content being creativity, art, music, gardening, being in nature. I just think that I have spent so much of my time in a state of fight or flight or survival mode that I'm still learning what who I am and what I'm about. So I'm constantly exploring. Okay, if I'm not doomed scrolling on my phone, what could I be doing with my time? And so I'm a little bit obsessed with that question right now. What's really filling? I call it my love bucket, right? But what's filling my love bucket? What do I want? What's lighting me up? Because from there I get inspired. Inspiration is what fuels my business, fuels my life, use my excitement for life. So I'm that's what I'm working on. More of that, please.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Wow, so many nuggets, so many terms I've I really haven't heard. I feel like a dinosaur right now. You've said such great things that I'm loving it. I'm excited for replay. I just love that. The love bucket. I've never heard that before.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

I mean, where have I been? That's no really cool. I make up so many of these terms. These are my terms. They're the ones that I've developed over the time. Yeah, I just make them up. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Love it. I you've heard it here. I'll live your leg. See, okay, people, right here. Awesome, Dawn. That's beautiful. Where can people find you? We need more Dawn. We need to see more of Dawn. And I'm excited that you're on this journey. So, where could we find you? I know where to find you, but I'm gonna post it right here. But tell people where do you like to hang out? Where can we find you? How could they engage? Tell us a little bit more about what you're doing, and besides what you just shared, and tell us all about you. Come on, tell the people.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

My I do have a podcast too. It's called the New Dawn Podcast. It's not like what you do. Mine is more interviewing people who are talking about the future, what happens next, pioneers, evolutionary people who are really inspired by building the future in the now moment, and then also using tools and techniques about shadow work and inner child work and how do we work with ourselves. And I try and make it as practical and humorous as possible because a lot of the time pain and trauma and suffering are desperately sad. And I think I have a very good dark sense of humour, and I just like to bring lightness to those as well as seriousness. And then I have a Substack news article which I do weekly where I share concepts and ideas like the love bucket and like other things that I talk about. I would love for people to come and follow me there, and that's on all under the Heartful Academy. You can search me out on Substack and then on Instagram, like the tag in the video here. And those are my favorite places to hang out and meet people and share stuff and connect with people for sure.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Beautiful. And for anybody who's listening on audio only, it's at the Heartful Academy. That's the Heart F-U-L-L Academy. And go look at Dawn at what she's doing. You definitely are on fire. You were deep, but also you brought the humor. You nailed it. What you just said you do, you do. You did it to me. You did it to our audience. And I appreciate you, Dawn, for coming on here, sharing your stories, being vulnerable, and entertaining us too, because you were certainly funny. Um, I love your I love your terms, and I'm excited to tune into your podcast. Thank you for enlightening us. Dawn, I'm gonna hand it to you for some closing remarks as we wrap it up and take your time, whatever's on your heart and mind. But you were a pleasure to have on our show. So, Dawn, take it away.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

Thank you, Patty. I want everybody to understand that the majority of the time we live armored up with armor around us, our survival strategies, our mechanisms, our ways of being and living that hold us in a place of survival and protection. And I want to explore what it means to embrace who we are fully, heartful and living from, connected to the truth, our inner guidance, and what we want for ourselves, but also have the just the best relationships we possibly can. And I really believe that's possible. And so I want to encourage anybody who's been thinking, Oh my god, my life sucks right now, or I want more, or this isn't enough, or you're starting to feel that wild fire inside of your heart, and you're like, What do I do with this? Or your life has just exploded, and you're like, now what? Perfect time that is the ripe soil. This is your chance to grow and expand and exhale into your own life. And I just I'm here for it. Here for I call it the wild ones. We are the wild ones, and I want us to really start to connect to that truth of who we are. And so my tagline is trust your heart, own your power, and embody yourself.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

There you go. Oh, what a nice way to close. Wow, hats off to me, Dawn. You just got a new girl fan, and thank you for showing up for not yourself, but for others as well. And you are amazing. Thank you all for tuning in. We will drop this edited version for any bleepers, bloopers, whatever you want to call them, on Apple, and then some will be also on Amazon Radio, your favorite podcast. Go check it out on Thursday, the 25th. Yes, Thursday will be the 25th. And thank you again for tuning in. I want to say one more time, thank you for listening. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a five-star rating if you liked it. Right new, we could use it. And could find us on all your favorite podcasts, including Spotify, Amazon, YouTube, or wherever you listen to your podcast. The video version is on YouTube. Thank you again, Dawn. And with that, have an amazing day, everybody, and God bless. Till next, live your legacy. Thank you, Dawn.

SPEAKER_03 27:06

And every turning point holds the power of legacy. Every step, every scar, every score, sweet, um box, it's on the eye.