The Broken Spirit

Patricia D. Freudenberg — known as Patty from New York — is a Certified Grief Consultant and the founder of Miss-U-Gram®, a unique service born from a deep understanding of grief in all its forms.

In this special episode of Live Your Legacy™, Patricia shares her latest Legacy Café reflection, The Broken Spirit—an honest and compassionate exploration of what grief can do to the human heart and soul.

Drawing from her work as a grief consultant, Patricia reminds listeners that healing does not mean forgetting the people we love or pretending the pain never existed. It means choosing recovery, reclaiming purpose, rediscovering joy, and creating a life of meaning despite loss.

"A broken spirit is not beyond repair, and recovery is possible—one choice, one step, and one day at a time."

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Live Your Legacy. Where every story holds a turning point. And every turning point holds the power of legacy.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Grace and greetings, and welcome to Live Your Legacy, a Mr. Graham production, the conversational podcast where we explore how life's defining moments shape the legacy we leave behind. I'm your host, Patricia D. Fordenberg, also known as Patty from New York. And this show is rooted in one simple truth. Grief is not always about death. Sometimes it comes through life's changes, losses, detours, and new beginnings. And here we speak with entrepreneurs, authors, leaders, and creators who have turned life's defining moments into meaningful work, lasting contributions because legacy is not only what we leave behind, it is also what we are shaping right now through vision, impact, and purpose. And today I'm honored to welcome me. Yeah, me. We do have sometimes life throws us monkey wrenches, as you will, right? And today's little monkey wrench, for lack of better words, is that our guest speaker was unfortunately not able to make it. So the show must go on. The show must go on. I gave a little grace, so we did start a few minutes behind schedule. So thank you for joining us here today. And we're gonna get into it. And what I'm gonna share today, which I'm excited about because now I get to share it with the world, going above and beyond just the newsletter. And it's not just a newsletter, actually, it's a newsletter that I write to empower the grieving individual, right? The grieving individual to transform the pain into purpose, into a living legacy. And it all always boils down to a choice, and the matters are in your hands. Now grief is gonna happen. That's part of life. We're gonna we're gonna get it one way or another. And when we use skills and tools, if you will, then we get back to a happy place, right? A recovery place, a place that we can keep it moving, keep it going, and that's what it's about overcoming. And the show is about overcoming. So I invite you to take a seat, take your shoes off, and hang out for a minute while I get into the article that I'm going to share today. Because again, the show must go on. So we'll find out what happened to Jennifer Benson. I'm not sure. I didn't hear back, but again, this is life, right? This is life at its finest. So when life happens, what do you do? You could stay stuck, and I could have been like, oh my god, oh my god, what do I do? Oh now I can't do the show. And I guess that could have been a choice too, right? Just not air, it's not the end of the world. If you are a listener, a follower, a viewer, because the show goes on audio and also video version. Thank you, first of all, for supporting. Second of all, it's not the end of the world. That phrase, that saying has gotten me through so much. And sometimes you could hear a phrase or a saying, a quote, even a word that you might have heard a million times, and all of a sudden, that one time it lands, it resonates. So for me, it was it's not the end of the world. I heard it a million times, right? Like I just said, and one good day in early December, I was going through some stuff, as we all do, right? I don't think anybody doesn't go through stuff, it's just part of life, right? And I was going through stuff, and somebody told me, Hey, it's not the end of the world. Now, I was put in a position where I could have just stayed paralyzed in my stuff and the circumstances that were presented in the situation that was at the moment, and been stuck and paralyzed and filled with fear and grief, because grief comes in all shapes and sizes. That's what this show is about. Now, I am a grief consultant, a grief of life itself. And in my consulting, I recognize that hey, wait a minute, these skills also apply to all types of grievances, you know. So that's what the show is about overcoming and sharing. And the newsletter is specific to that person who's grieving the life of a loved one. However, again, if you could just take out the skills and tools, it can apply just the same. So, again, thank you for being here. And I want to get into it. I'm gonna just go over the article and let's see if I could share the screen first of all. I like to share the screen so you get a visual of the website where this newsletter you can subscribe. It's at no cost to you, it's a complimentary newsletter until dot dot. I don't know, uh until maybe forever. I don't know. I'm led by the spirit, and that's how I roll. And let me just share the screen. There we go. And yeah, here it is. Here is the article. If you go to the website, Miss U, the letter U Gram G-R-A-M. That is with hyphens, so it's M-I-S-S-Hyphen, the letter U, hyphen G-R-A-M. And go to the website and you'll see the most recent newsletters, and again, you can go ahead and subscribe, and you will receive it in your email when they are posted. So, today, again, besides our guest unfortunately not being able to come into the show today. I'm also experiencing some technical difficulties, which is quite interesting because I was having no difficulties only 10 minutes prior to the show. So, with that being said, we will continue if we can. And yeah, let's see here. The show must go on. I do like that phrase. Some people may not like it, but I do because that's life, right? Life continues, and I choose to continue. So as I am losing connectivity, I'm not sure if you can even hear me at this point, but we will do our best to recover here. And okay, I guess maybe it's not gonna happen today. Maybe the show will not go on. I don't know. I'm not even sure if it's even recording anymore. Okay, let's see what happens. We'll give it a minute. I can't even get back on the proper screen to even try to do anything about it, which is quite frustrating. And this is happening live, so we could see how this rolls. It's kind of I'm the kind of person that will end up laughing at something even when it's not funny, because it's a release, to release a resistance, and I think that's really important. It's really important to release resistance. And yeah, with that being said, I'm not sure what's going on here, but we'll see what happens. And okay, we'll see what happens. Just waiting, just waiting. We laugh about this. Okay, we're gonna we got some okay, yes, okay. I'm a celebrity in my own world, in my bubble. I am. What could I tell you? I've been branding Miss You Graham, and I'm the face behind the brand, okay? I'm the face behind the brand, a global solution to cope with grief, mourning at the speed of life. Check out the website. In fact, I'm gonna add to the stage the website. Hopefully, I don't get kicked off air. I don't even know if anybody's still watching, but thank you, Michael, for coming on. And here we go. Let me just add this. And here's the butterfly. I had a little attitude with that one, right? Some people's like, is that a butterfly? I can't tell it's a butterfly. Yeah, it's a butterfly. It's the other angle, right? Because for me, it's all about perspective. This butterfly was very intentional. Oh, I'm in between new offices. So one of the upcoming shows I will present, or maybe I'll post in in one of the upcoming posts. It's away in storage right now with all my good stuff. But this butterfly, I'm just gonna get right into it. This butterfly, I remember when I love air quotes. I don't know what this is. I'm very animated. You know me, it's like Patty the Patty, the entertainer, the clown, and uh class clown. But the idea is this butterfly means so much to me, right? Because I am the creator of it, so of course it's going to mean a lot to me. But the point of it is that it's from a different perspective. Most of the time, people see it from the two wings, right? From the frontal, I guess, two-dimensional, and now the page is not responding again, so I don't know what's going on with my Wi-Fi, but this was very intentional. I remember when I decided I'm going to create this logo for Ms. YouGram, and I took a Sharpie, and I'm still not getting streaming. I don't know if we're still even live. Thank you for tuning in if you're still here with us. But this this butterfly, I remember sitting at my kitchen counter. And okay, sure, I'll check my DM. Thank you for talking to me on the live if you're even still here. And thank you. Yay! What up, though, my 313 friend? And again, I don't even know if I'm still live, but supposedly I am. So here we go. And this is improv because I just got a call from our guest, Jennifer Benson, who had a family mercy. And this is exactly it. Life happens. We don't plan accidents, we don't plan getting sick, we don't plan tragedies. It's not something we're like, oh, let's put that on the calendar. Good day to have a tragedy. No, but what do we do about it, right? And today was I disappointed about not having my ours, I say my R, the special guest today. Of course, but you know what? God willing, we'll reschedule. She'll come back. She has great stuff out there, she has a book and she's doing wonderful things and getting back to this butterfly. Thank you for following me because Patty could go down a rabbit hole, loop-de-doop-dee-doo, but then I always circle back. Okay, and I'm circling back to the butterfly because somebody asked me about who am I, what am I, what do I do? This is what I started. I started a brand called Mystery Graham, and this butterfly means a lot to me. And the message behind this image is another perspective, it's a side view of the butterfly. And it's what's funny because a lot of people think, oh, it's a blue butterfly. No, clearly, it's not a blue butterfly. But people remember the blue, it's really interesting what people remember. And a lot of times people will give me a gift because I've been doing this for 10 years now. They'll give me a gift. Oh, here's the blue butterfly, it reminds me of you. And I say thank you so much because it still means a lot. But the funny part is it's not a blue butterfly, it's deliberately not, it's a white aura, right? And that was deliberate. And then, because we all have an aura, whether you want to believe it or not, right? We have an aura. If you go get a CAT scan and stuff like that, like we have energy fields, that's the aura, and the inside is our spirit, right? We all have spirit, that's what opens our eyes and ticks our heart, right? And so it's inside and outside the energy, the aura, right? And then the black, that's the shell, that's the shell. And when we transform or go to the afterlife, because there is an afterlife, maybe it's null, maybe we just turn into little molecules and float around, and I don't know. This is something a completely different topic that I would love to get into, to be honest, because as a grief consultant, we're taught to ask that question, that elephant in the room, talk about it. What does the afterlife mean to you? Because does it mean that you just go back to outer space into little molecules and there is no one you? Is there a heaven? And it I always encourage you to we'll never really know, right? Until we're there, and maybe we won't know because if it we turn back to like a nothingness, but the point of this message is that our energy, that aura, that white of that butterfly inside and out that that represents the aura, that cannot be, you know, it can't be destroyed. You can never take it back. It's that's physics. That's not Patty believes this, that, and the other. That's physics. Okay, we should be able to talk about the afterlife, and it could mean something different to every single person, just like a fingerprint, right? Like, I'll never know exactly the fingerprint of your thought. You could only transcribe it to me through words and expressions, right? Emotions, but at the end of the day, what it means to you is yours, it's yours, your vision, and that's so special. But anyway, the butterfly, and then somebody said to me once, is that supposed to be the letters M U G? And I said, Yeah, and they said, You really can't read it well. I would change the design, and I'm like, Well, you could go create your own butterfly. I think the world's abundant, so go for it, baby. Oh, and the G really doesn't look like a G, it looks like a C. You need to fix that. No, I do not need to fix it. If you don't like it, then change the channel. I don't know what to tell you. It's supposed to be cryptic, it's supposed to be cryptic. Pardon the pun, but it's it's intentional. It's intentional, and it's so funny because when I was, you know, when you get inspired and you're in flow, it's like if you're let's say you're writing, right? You just you can't put the pen down, or if you're I guess if you're like a guitarist, I don't play guitar, but I'm imagining that just from the sense of being a writer, or I don't draw well, but in this case, I drew my butterfly. And it's funny if you actually saw the first draft, it's okay. But the idea is you're in flow, and it's like time doesn't exist in those moments, right? When you're being creative, when you're fully tapping into your creative mind and and passion, the way it flows, it's just so beautiful. That's just a stream of consciousness that is just so divine. So when I was like, I was in flow, but then there are interruptions because life happens and you can't control your outside circumstances. So my outside world, my family, we were planning to go out to dinner, and then again, I was paying no attention to the time, and then my family's getting ready in there, and then not realizing that I'm sitting there drawing something with a sharpie, not really. This is when in the beginning, when it was just an idea, this was like the seed stage of Mystery Graham. They didn't pay much mind to it either. And they're like, Okay, we're gonna get in the car, and okay, oh, okay, I'll be right there, I'll be right there, I'll be right there. And yeah, it's funny. I can't, I'm definitely, I think I've shared it before in the past few years, but I will share it again because it's it makes me giggle because I've come such a long way with this butterfly. But anyway, I went on a tangent with the whole butterfly thing, and again, I it shows that I'm still alive. I don't know what happened when we took a big break with technical issues. So we had some challenges today. We had a guest that was not able to make it. At first, I was concerned, and sure enough, something did happen. And I'm not gonna spill her beans, but she was unable to make it because of some life stuff that's that's taking priority, and that's okay because it's not the end of the world. I don't know if you caught that when I was talking about cliches, but it's not the end of the world. I hope not anyway. Makes me feel better. So I do want to go ahead and scroll up. Hopefully, I don't lose connection again. I keep losing connection every time I oh, there we go. I did again. Here we go. Okay, I don't know what's going on, and this podcast will be definitely interesting. So, either a lot of editing or you're in the raw and real. And this is what I love about going live. I like this part. I don't know if you guys resonate with that, but I like the real stuff. I love the bloopers. Do you have guys ever watch a show and then at the end sometimes they'll watch the bloopers? I love the bloopers because but yeah, that's that's the truth of life. That's the truth of life. Now I'm gonna try to go again to try to scroll up, and somehow is it letting me know? So that's really annoying, but whatever. I'm gonna have to just deal with it. See, it's glitching out on me. And here we go. Let me see if it goes like this. So, this is the visual for the article that I want to read, and it's legacy. Cafe is a newsletter again, complimentary to you. Subscribe, and you will receive it in your newsletter if you subscribe, and it's complimentary until dot dot, maybe forever. I don't know. We'll see. However, let me just get back to this, it is just frustrating at this point, but I'm gonna laugh because laughing releases the resistance because I'm really bent out of shape. Can you tell? I'm smiling, I'm bent out of shape that everything is going left. Why is left the bad way, by the way? I think that's also really funny, but anyway, it's going left, if you will. But again, I want to talk about the broken spirit, the broken spirit, and for those that are carrying the heavy weight of grief. I think this article will suit you well because this is something we can resonate with when you have a heavy loss. Unless you are using skills and tools for recovery that I teach and share, or you maybe you've learned from other places, maybe passed down from your mentors, then great, share it with the world, make the world a better place, and that's what it's about. Sometimes it's the same message, just delivered either from a different person. Some people talk like this, and that's perfectly fine because some people need this delivery, and I talk like this because some people need this delivery. So, this is what teach and share, it's part of my consulting and my frustration today of everything freezing up while I want to read the article that I wrote, seems to really catch me in a craw, if you will. So, with that, that's not letting me scroll up so I can read it properly. And it's like the interference. Can we talk about the interference, life's interference? I don't know what that is. Some people call it spiritual warfare. I would consider that. I think I've even talked about that before, but then people think you're like, woohoo, weehee, weirdo, because you say spiritual warfare. Listen, energies are out there. Again, once something exists, it can't not exist. It could only transform. This is quantum mechanics. It's not my opinion. So to not even entertain spiritual warfare, it's like you're just being like you're choosing to be ignorant, you're choosing to be closed-minded. At least entertain the notion, just like heaven. I'm not saying you have to believe in heaven, but at least entertain the notion because it is a possibility, right? Now I'm going on a tangent. So if this lets me scroll, I it's not, it's like freezing up, but whatever. This article today is the broken spirit. And I'm gonna share the article. The broken spirit, those words carry weight that is difficult to explain unless you've lived them. A broken spirit can feel, oh boy, it can feel deeper than sadness. It can leave you believing that the person you once were is gone forever. It whispers that you'll never laugh the same way again, never dream the same way again, and never feel whole again. But is a broken spirit the same as a broken heart? Not quite. A broken heart is often tied to loss. A broken spirit is what happens when the loss begins, convincing you that hope itself has disappeared. One wounds the emotions, the other begins to influence your identity. And the good news is both can heal. No one else can do the healing for you. No one can cry enough tears to erase your pain. No one can be joyful enough to make you joyful. No one can think your thoughts or make you or make the decision that move your life forward. Others can love you, encourage you, support you, and walk beside you. But the decision to begin healing belongs to you. That may sound like a heavy responsibility, but it also is incredibly empowering. And that's what I love to do. I love to empower. I'm not here to minimize the reality of grief. That's not what I'm here to do. The pain is real, the suffering is real. And some days it can feel impossible to take even one more step. And I know that. What I also know is this you are worthy of living a life to be remembered. And grief may become part of your story, but it does not have to become the ending of your story. Recovery isn't pretending nothing happened, it isn't forgetting, it isn't replacing the person or the life you lost. Recovery is learning how to carry love forward while choosing life again. Excuse me. The choice happens one decision at a time. It happens with the mindset we adopt, the tools we learn, the actions we take, the choices we make, and each one becomes another step back towards alignment, back towards purpose, back towards hope, back towards joy. Does that mean you'll wake up every morning feeling inspired for the rest of your life? Of course not. We're human, okay, and there will be difficult days, memories will surface unexpectedly, anniversaries may still bring tears. Grief has a way of reminding us that love mattered, but those moments no longer have to define every moment. With practice, perspective, and intention, you can learn to reset, you can return to gratitude, you can rediscover wonder, you can find excitement again, you can appreciate life without feeling guilty for doing so. And as a grief consultant, that is my mission. Not to erase your leaf, grief or leaf, not to rush your healing, but to guide you toward recovery by providing a roadmap, one that reminds you that healing is possible, meaning is possible, and full life is still possible. Your spirit may feel broken today, but broken does not mean beyond repair. Sometimes the strongest legacy we leave behind is showing others that even after our deepest heartbreak, we choose to live. Not someday, but now to move one step closer. Also, if you follow the newsletter, I recommend my guidebook. And if this message resonates with you, I invite you to check out Live Your Legacy, subtitled A New Spin on Morning. You'd be surprised how many millions of books are titled Live Your Legacy. It's funny because when I wrote it, I thought it'd be the only one. Isn't that funny? Just like going somewhere, you think you're the only one with that idea, and then next millions of people have the same idea. But the point is, Live Your Legacy, a new spin on morning. It's a guidebook. For betum, you can read it pretty quickly, but it's not about how quick you read it, it's about doing the work one page at a time. It is a contemplative, easy read that explores the inward journey through grief and the possibilities that emerge when we choose healing with intention, now available on Amazon. Again, my name is Patricia D. Freudenberg, also known as Patty from New York, certified grief consultant, author speaker, Paul Harris Fellow. And I'm happy to be streaming here today. We had to improvise a little wee bit because our special guest was not able to make it. And I just gonna take this image off here, and that's just the image of the newsletter. And again, everything's freezing up. And with that being said, let me just go back up here. Maybe not. If you still hear the sound of my voice, so this is funny. Anyway, I thank you for joining us again. This is Live Your Legacy as everything is freezing up today, and I just wonder what the heck is that about. This was a full-on improv, real and raw, if you will. I don't even know what to tell you. Every button is freezing, everything that is planned did not go as planned. We did get some comments, so I thank you for that. For chiming in, viewing, supporting. And again, this is life, right? This is life first handed. Again, welcome to Live Your Legacy. With that being said, we're gonna wrap it up for today. Thank you again for being here. Appreciate every single body. If you support us, that would be grateful. Give us a five-star today. How did we do on the technical issues, the improv, the monkey wrenches, and all of the above? I don't know. Love to hear your comments. Thank you again. I'll be editing this if I even air this. But again, we so we are so thankful for all the viewers and the responses I've been getting. It's really awesome. We've been having wonderful guests. If you want to be a guest, check out Live Your Legacy. The website is livelegacy. Here we go. Livelegacy. Check out the menu. You'll see where to follow us. We're on multiple streams. There's also other clips, mini clips, 30-second clips, one-minute clips, variety of clips from previous guests, sound bites, and such. So again, check out Live Your Legacy. And again, I'm your host, Patty from New York. That being said, God bless and have an amazing day.